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They Do it Differently: Different Rules, Different People, Different Ways

by Roslyn Duffy
May/June 2006
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Article Link: http://stage.exchangepress.com/article/they-do-it-differently-different-rules-different-people-different-ways/5016971/

�" Situation �"

When our son’s friends visit I often find myself defending how we do things. If I say we take off our shoes inside �" one of the children will announce, “We don’t do that at our house.” If I offer to make sandwiches, another child will say, “That’s not the kind of bread we eat.” Today someone asked me where we kept our recycling can. When I said, “We don’t have one,” he said, “But then you’re killing trees.” Yikes! I am tired of explaining that we do things differently and I don’t like feeling that I have to defend our choices.” I don’t think our rules are unreasonable but often I feel like the wicked witch for having to constantly announce and enforce them.

�" Solution �"

Our way �" not everyone’s way

Children assume that the way things are done at their house �" is the way things are done, period. Instead of feeling defensive as each difference gets highlighted, recognize that your differences are helping this child to broaden his view of the world. Your rules reflect what works for your family. Children aren’t sitting in judgment on you, but learning about the world outside their doors �" ...

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